An AAPI Call to Lament

Let us not miss this moment to mourn.

We lament the shooting deaths on March 16.

We cry out from Atlanta to Asia, from the parlor to the province.

The temptation to flee is fierce, but we pause as a protest and hold fast in this moment of incredible pain.

Grasping for breath through a river of tears.

Searching for words through a clouded mind.

Bearing the weight of many faces crowding our hearts.

Longing for home. Longing for a home.

Yet we choose the discomfort of slowing down, to name, to touch, and to comb the depths of our sadness, anger, and fear.

Anguish for the violent theft of innocent Asian lives.

Anger towards everyone and everything all at once.

Fear of being targeted.

Fearing men armed with ignorance and a gun.

Feeling disposable.

Because of the size of our eyes, the color of our skin, and the shape of our bodies.

Are we not human? Do you not see us? What else must we suffer? How long must we endure?

Lives too often invisible, only to be seen in death.

Deliver us from this madness!

We mourn the March 16 murders. We say their names…

Hyun Jung Grant

Xiaojie Tan

Daoyou Feng

Soon Chung Park

Suncha Kim

Yong Ae Yue

Delaina Ashley Yaun

Paul Andre Michels

We lament as a diverse Asian community, but as a people, with our people, and for our people. We remember and honor all those whom without we are not; our grandmas and aunties, our lolas and gomos. We stand in your power and beauty.

We also confess feeling numb to it all. Forgive us, that even with the shocking murders on March 16, as Asians in America, we are not surprised.

We mourn countless memories of being mocked, minimized, and misunderstood.

When we’ve been valued for our strong minds, but asked to leave our culture at the door.

When we’re noticed for our physical features, but our rich traditions are ignored.

We condemn the legacy of unjust policies and systems that shame us, defame us, and re-name us.

As the backdrop of the massage parlor deaths exposes an illicit industry, built on the bedrock of racism and patriarchy, we scream to dismantle all the economies that exploit and profit off of our Asian bodies. If not now, then when?

Are we not human? Do you not see? What else? How long?

Oh, deliver us, now.

We grieve together with our allies; we see you. We thank you all for choosing to be with us, to step into our pain, and stand in solidarity. But we also ask for space.

To the AAPI community, may we boldly hold the space.

As we rush to work, to organize and lead, let us not rush at the expense of our souls.

Even in pain, may we yield no more ground to the ones who rush to ignore us, silence us, or eliminate us.

May this tragedy never be forgotten. And may our moment to mourn not be missed.

Bitan.

Āitàn.

Panaghoy.